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Kitchen Politics

 The " HE SAYS SHE SAYS " Series ' Empty vessels make more noise. ' But they are definitely way better than adults making noise on emptying them. By adults I by all means refer to the Man of the House who on a full belly infront of the telly reviews the meals.    " Darling,  the sambhar was marvelous only it missed the tanginess like your taunts. The idlis were soft as your cheeks, only if they could have turned fluffy like you turned post marriage. The chutney was hot and fiery like your tongue.... " The reviews could have continued for a kind client called to check his case progress. Sometimes I feel my husband could be the next Shashi Tharoor only my not being Sunanda Pushkar discourages him. Someone who has never lifted the laddle to stir the curry, except on pretext of banging it on the thali to scare the shit out of corona talks on food chemistry is amazing. It's like getting a Doctorate without going to School!!! Kitchen is the unventured, unexplo...
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TEACH ME TO BE HAPPY

 Being a mother and a WOMAN, I have a not very  good habit of pushing my opinions on everything from Yogi Adiyanath to Rakhi Sawant.( everything Indian not expanded my horizons yet.)       My opinions may come straight as an icing on the cake or sandwiched between breads or totally mixed up with batter to spread on the tava.(again not hungry here though you may feel a pang.)        So here I come up with a checklist on WHAT WE SHOULD TEACH OUR CHILDREN? ( P.S.-I'm not talking academics. ) 1. Teach your child to HATE coz they can't love corruption, terrorism, pollution, population and similar noun forms. 2. Teach your child to GET LOST coz only after getting lost do we truly discover ourselves.  3. Teach your child to DAY DREAM coz a vision is born out of day dreaming otherwise it's just an eyesight.  4. Teach your child to be LONELY coz good friends siblings are a limited version and counsellors a costlier one. 5. Teach your child t...
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Poetic Patience

Hold it Honey  Go slow  Enjoy the flow For this moment will not stay and soon go.  Heightened is your erotica Imagining Archie and his Veronica My gesture is to just add an element of paparika Don't jump to conclusions  For it will cause sciatica.  Hold it Honey Go slow  Is my husband talking on PATIENCE Got a blow? 🤪 Patience, he teaches to me With ultimate glee Is a virtue to be practised  Than just preached Adds value only when shown in a direction  Or else life will require many a correction.  To succeed in anything You don't have to give up everything  Patience costs nothing  Only the direction is something  To be looked above all things.  " Work in the right direction  Top it with Patience  Success is yours companion" Says my dear life The success mantra runs rife Because a poem is composed by his wife💃🏽 So I hope now on You will go slow  Enjoy the melting snow But mind the direction of the flow And...
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Perfectly Imperfect

     Indian Dads have this quirky, 'I can't express, you understand' way of loving their daughters. Love for them is occasionally attending open houses to secretly admire the demon turned angel teacher of the class for that day. So innocent and pure is the love, that they themselves don't realise the depth of it till the daughter herself falls in love.        So this is our love story. My father's and mine. He realised or to be more precise confessed to it only when I found myself in romantic love with Mr. Wallet. Those were the days when my father was in quest of a suitable Arabian horse for his Arabian mare. Yes its a horse race to find a suitable (package includes a 2BHK flat, only son, parents not staying together, ambitious wants to go aboard, etc.)  match. You thought I forgot to mention good looking. No!!! That isn't the criteria till he has the money to camouflage his horsey looks.  My declaration of love brought more of a financial s...
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Expressions change, feelings remain the same.

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    Anniversaries are that time of the year when you secretly pat yourself for putting up with the 'Ma ka ladlas'or ' Papa ki paris'. More recently my grandparents celebrated their 50th Wedding anniversary with a pomp. My senses almost drooped as if on a high dose of marijuana when I heard what the old woman had gifted the old man.  A BOTTLE OF KAYAMCHURAN-though a branded one, that's what she reasoned.  I always believed that my granny's grey cells were greyer than her grey hair. For her, my grandfather was no less than Arnold Schwarzenegger !!! Imagine Arnold with a bottle of Indian Ayurvedic Kayamchuran or to go more wild, imagine him in the pose of the sage on the bottle of kayamchuran. Ditch the shit business of Arnold for the shit business of my grandfather was affecting their marital bliss. Who told? Obviously granny told!         On days his left overs were rightly evacuated, the old lady was his Madhubala and he sang Kishor to her. But wh...
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Hormones Disturb Harmony

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     It is a Friday. Exhausted I'm looking forward to a clean and happy weekend.  "Cleanliness is Next to Godliness" and for me "Uncleanliness is Next to Godzillaness". Mr.  Wallet is working infact working very hard at his task. His task??  To see to it that every corner of the bedroom is adorned by a torn paper or a wet towel or a charger or a smelly sock.  He just doesn't believe in limiting his abilities and in the best of his capacities spreads his wings to the living room. With the empty cups of tea at his desk,  the flies performing a Falguni Pathak garba at its rim. Dr. Mahendra Vatsa's page of Mirror is pushed between Mahendra Singh Dhoni's sports page.  As if the comrade of Sex and Sports in the country was not enough and this union of the two Mahendras was vital. The Idiot box blarrs in the background whereas its loyal audience is immersed in the Apple!!! 😾😾😾          If this is what you prefer to call h...
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Take Pride in your Strenghts

       "ATTENTION LADIES!! Work from the comfort of your home. Earn anywhere between 25k-50k/ month. No Investments. No Marketing. No Selling. Hurry! Interested ladies kindly WhatsApp on......" I did not bother to read the contact number as the Money number was far more lucrative. Just preventing my eyeballs from popping out, I rushed to Mr Wallet to show him this 'Screw My Future Add'. The pessimist he is, Mr Wallet redefines the add- " No Investment. No Marketing. No Selling. NO BRAINS Required!!!! Wow, Darling, this is just perfect for you! Your vestigial organ brain has not been asked for. As I say Jobs are made in Heaven, this is a heavenly opportunity for you. Isko laga dala toh life zingalala..... Go for it👍👍"          You people always blame me for being an angry cat purring at him. Now can your eyeballs see how this matchstick( nothing to do with his humble body type) sets me on fire? I had gone for Encouragement😇 and came back wi...
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